Coaching

I have a vision that comes from my heart, and my brain has a lot of opinions about it. Too ambitious, no one will be interested, too difficult to realise, no one will help you. But like Abraham Maslow said, you will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety. So here I am taking my first steps.

My vision

I want to build a retreat center for software developers who are having stress or burn-out symptoms, where they can continue to work for their old employer at a leisurely pace, remotely, but in a beautiful eco-village. There they can get coaching or do workshops on Non Violent Communication, cooking and gardening. They will be able to catch their breath and recover, learn or strengthen some life skills and take those balancing skills back to their team to help others.

Yes, this vision is super large, and super ambitious, and it is still evolving, but it serves as a compass. It reminds me of my values: joy, playfulness, care, curiosity, learning and teaching. And the road towards realisation will serve as a path of growth, on which I will have to deal with all the obstacles I will encounter.

Right now, this is where I am. I work as a software developer. I am learning how to grow my own food (I’m still a rookie at that), and … I have just completed my first coaching training in the field of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and I am looking for people where I can practice my coaching skills. People who are stuck in some area of their life, and would like some help to get unstuck.

Why ACT?

One thing I love about ACT is the equality between coach and client. It is a partnership, it’s teamwork. There is a beautiful metaphor that describes what I mean:

You know, a lot of people come to therapy believing the therapist is some sort of enlightened being, that he’s resolved all his issues, he’s got it all together – but actually, that is not the way it is. It’s more like you’re climbing your mountain over there, and I’m climbing my mountain over here. And from where I am on my mountain, I can see things on your mountain that you can’t see – like there’s an avalanche about to happen, or there’s an alternative pathway you could take, or you’re not using your pickax effectively.

But I’d hate for you to think that I’ve reached the top of my mountain, and I’m sitting back, taking it easy. Fact is, I’m still climbing, still making mistakes, and still learning from them. And basically, we’re all the same. We’re all climbing our mountain until the day we die. But here’s the thing: you can get better and better at climbing, and better and better at learning to appreciate the journey. And that’s what the work we do here is all about.

Russ Harris, ACT made simple

Another thing that I love about ACT is that we learn to deal with our difficult thoughts and emotions without fighting them or running away from them. And it refocuses our attention and our actions on the things and people that are important to us, so that we can create a rich and meaningful life. Like Russ Harris said: embrace your demons and follow your heart.

If this resonates with you and you would like to do a few coaching sessions with me for free, so that I can practice and you can discover if ACT will help you get unstuck, then please contact me at mbed@live.nl. I still have room for one client until September 2021.

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